When my first two boys were babies I knew I wanted to breastfeed as long as I could. When I had to go back to work at 8 weeks I just couldn't keep up anymore and by about 10 weeks both boys were on formula. When I got pregnant again and decided that I would become a stay at home mommy I told my self that I was going to nurse this baby until at least a year! Not only was the Breast Best of my little one but it would save us LOADS of money! My original goal was to make it a year and then slowly wean.
Well in the last two weeks my goal, strength as a woman, emotions, and stubbornness have all been pushed to the edge. It all started about a month ago. Every week we attend a Breastfeeding support group. We nurse, talk and have our babies weighed by a RN and LC. For three weeks in a row Colton weighed in at 12lbs 10oz. Then all of a sudden the next week he was down to 12lbs 5oz, and the following week 12lbs 4oz. My LC tried to assure me that everything was fine, I mean after all we had wet diapers, poopy diapers and overall we were a very happy baby! We had a Dr's appointment on Monday so we knew that we would discuss it with the doctor at the time.
So on Monday we went to the Dr and Colton weighed 12lbs even. That is only 4 oz more than he weighed at his 2 month appointment! We decided then that we needed to figure out what was going on. I was to nurse and then pump and feed him what ever I pumped. Well the nursing part was fine but the pumping was a disaster. I don't get along with my pump very well and even when I am full I don't get much from it. But I tried, I nursed and I pumped, I nursed and pumped. I started to take Fenugreek and eat oatmeal all in an effort to build my supply back in hopes that this is all that is wrong.
We went back 5 days later on Friday and we were down to 11lbs 8oz! Officially 4oz under out 2 month weight! The word then was that we needed to start to supplement! My Dr wanted me to go to exclusively formula but I wasn't ready for that. We compromised on Nursing and then giving formula at the end of the feeding and continuing to pump. For about 5 hours this morning I felt like I was nursing and pumping and feeding non stop! And the pumping is just more and more frustrating every time I turn it on and get NOTHING but a few little drops!
I started to supplement with the few bags of frozen breast milk that I did have but will have to make my first bottle of formula later today and I'm a wreck about it. I know that the long and short of it is that my baby needs to eat and if this is what it takes to keep him healthy then I will do what ever it is. But it doesn't make my heart hurt any less. I am fighting the feeling of failure. I, as a mother am supposed to be all that my baby needs! I'm supposed to be what is best for my baby! So why doesn't my body want to cooperate?
So in addition to continuing to nurse little Colton I am also working on nursing my broken heart. I hope to be able to stop with the supplementing in a few weeks if we can get our weight in order. We have another weight check on Tuesday morning. Wish us luck! We are going need it!
I had the EXACT same thing happen to me, so my heart goes out to you. We had to go to formula only because I couldn't produce barely anything. I will try again with the next, but it really does suck
ReplyDeletemy heart goes to you and i wish you the best of luck. I have tears as i feel your pain. I wanted so much to feed my little as well but my body wouldnt cooperate either it is very frustrating my son couldnt latch well because nipples were to small and to make matters worse one of my breasts wouldnt produce milk we had to go half and half with formula but in the end i had to just give up with no support other than my husband it just wasnt ment to be. Im glad you have the love and support you need and that you are able to continue there is no greater bond with your baby and it is tough to give up, best wishes
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome mama. I did the nurse/supplement thing with my last child that I adopted. My pediatrician assured any breast milk she got was great in addition. It does not have to be all or nothing. Also consider adding Domperidone to your supplements. My daughter had to take it with her baby when she was not producing enough. It helped a lot. Please email me if you want additional help. I have helped many moms with this very challenge. kay at mypreciouskid.com
ReplyDeleteTry Domperidone! It is AMAZING! You can order it online from inhousepharmacy.biz I have PCOS and I was barely making 1/4oz from my left and 1/2oz from the right and Im sure my supply has at LEAST tripled in the 4 weeks I have been on it! Im still offering 2 oz of formula after every feeding but sometimes he doesnt finish :) That first bottle was HARD! DONT GIVE UP!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you are in pain. I don't have much advice but I will share what little I do have and hopefully it is useful. Shari Criso "My Baby Experts" specializes in this and I think if you got in contact with her by email, phone or in person (if possible) she would be more than happy to help as much as possible. Shari is a "Registered Nurse, Certified Nurse Midwife, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, nationally recognized parenting educator, entrepreneur, and most importantly, loving wife & proud mother of two amazing breastfed daughters. If anyone can help she would be the one.
ReplyDeletehttp://sharicriso.com/mybabyexperts/
you can also find her on facebook and she has a live ustream every tuesday night 9pm EST.
I have learned so much from her and she really cares about supporting moms and helping them to give their babies the best.
Hope all works out for you and your son!
This is heart wrenching and as a Mom I can understand how painful this is! Pumping for me was very hard and I had one of hospital recommended, top of the line ones. You may need a different pump! If you are using a machine then maybe a hand pump would be more gentle and natural, if you are using a hand pump then maybe you need a machine that would have a stronger suction. On a side note my son was so ravenous by the time he was two months old that I was nursing him on both sides and giving him a bottle of pumped milk. He would take in all of it then promptly throw up half of what he ate. He just wasn't feeling full! So then we started giving him a little cereal with breast milk mixed in. We told our doctor what we were doing and she said that it wasn't generally recommended but if it was working for OUR baby then to do it.
ReplyDeleteHope all is going well with Colton!
ReplyDelete