I'm frustrated! Very Very Frustrated!!
Don't get me wrong, I love my life, I love my boys, and my husband, and everything that comes along with that but a Mom is allowed to get frustrated!
Let me start by saying that the boys have been done with camp for almost 2 weeks now, while I love my time at home with them, they are two VERY active and energetic little boys and I swear all they do ALL day long is fight with each other! They need their apart time. And at home they just don't get it.
To top it off they just don't listen to me. I HATE yelling at them but I feel like I do it all day long. I'm to the point where to get my 4 year old to listen to me I have to threaten to call Daddy at work!! What am I doing wrong! I am home with them all day long. I try to follow through with my punishments and I just can't win.
I'm so glad that school starts next week! The boys will really enjoy the apart time and Colton and mommy can get some good bonding time.
My house is a disaster and I hate to clean! I'm not good at it and I just don't like doing it. I try, I really do, but I can only clean the same counter in the kitchen so many times in one day before feeling like I am going to scream and I feel like there just isn't space for the stuff we have. I feel like things come into the house and nothing goes out and the house just doesn't get any bigger.
It just gets better! Colton is just over 7 months old now. He has ALWAYS taken a bottle (so the boob isn't always required), and now since we have been having supply issues (another frustration) he will even take formula!! Yet I have not left the house in 7 months without at least 1 child in my arms for more then an hour! And that is to get gas or run to the grocery store! I'm going nuts! Again I love my children but this momma needs some me time and unfortunately I don't think it is coming anytime soon.
Now my biggest frustration...Nursing.
I love nursing Colton and I am so glad that we have done it this long. I want to continue to do it for as long as we can. The problem now is that since we started to have additional nursing problems over the last month or so and I can't seem to build up my supply (it does not seem to be getting worse but not getting better) my husband and my mom have been anything but supportive. All I can get out of either one of them is well he'll take formula now that is good enough. Now nothing against mom's who give their babies formula. My older two were formula fed after 8 weeks when I returned to work, but I am home now, I feel very strongly that Breast Is Best, and I want to continue to nurse for as long as Colton and I feel comfortable doing so!
I have a great LC and am a part of some GREAT Facebook support groups and they have been my saving grace. It is just frustrating when the two people in your life that should be your biggest support system just don't get it. Yes I've done great, but I want to do better. Please just support my decision!
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now
I know a little about how you feel. My hubs, I do love really, but we definitely don't see eye to eye on alot of parenting things. He seems to think it is my job to feed him, change him, bathe him, etc. When he says he is going to give our toddler a bath I am the one that has to go in there to wash her, he thinks just letting her play in the water is good enough. He won't change a cloth diaper (he "just doesn't get it"...really he has never really tried). I ECed our toddler from 3 months so he never really had to deal with a poopy diaper. Now with our 5 month old I still haven't figured out his cues and my hubs complains about how many diapers he goes through and how gross it is. Ok my list goes on, but this is your rant. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone! :) I cleaned the entire house but didn't get the dinner dishes put away before he got home the other night and he got irritated at me because he always comes home to a filthy house (really I just want to NOT clean up at all one day just to see what he says!). We all have those times where we just need to find some ME time (I am still trying to figure out how to get it too :)
ReplyDeleteI go through the exact same things at my house with my girls and my husband comes home and just thinks i don't do anything because the house is a mess and the kids are screaming at each other and I only have half of a dress done! What he doesn't realize is that I have already cleaned the house four times today, I can't get the kids to just get along and it's too hot out for the oldest to go outside, and when the kids aren't screaming at each other they are climbing up my legs or taking off with my foot pedal to my sewing machine. And good for you for breastfeeding for this long and I think as long as you want to continue to breastfeed you should! It felt good for me to vent too!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOODNESS!!
ReplyDeleteI feel like this could be me talking!! My boys are 6 and 4...all they do is fight!!! I'm actually driven to tears from the times that they don't listen, and my oldest is really into talking back now...UGH! My oldest actually pushed my 4 year old in the tub today and he got a black eye!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
My husband is supportive, but he is gone for months at a time for work...and of course he's not here right now....
It's good to know that I'm not in this alone....
Hang in there, mama! I totally get where you are coming from. My hubby thinks he's the most supportive man in the world and in many ways he is...but...he doesn't understand that sometimes the best I can get for "me time" is a few minutes of uninterrupted computer time during naptime - I seriously have less than 1 hour a day "to myself" during which I am doing prep for dinner, cleaning up from the morning, paying bills, and spending maybe 30 mins if I'm lucky on line. But he comes home during that 30 mins and assumes I've been sitting on my ass all day tweeting and FBing - It drives me out of my mind! RE: the nursing...you probably already know about this, but the "Booby Traps" lists and discussions at http://bestforbabes.org were a lifesaver for me. I ended up pumping 100% instead of nursing after the 1st few weeks with each kiddo but if I had known about Best for Babes back then, I wouldn't have felt so alone in my struggle for support and understanding. You've already done so much for your little one. Cut yourself some slack. Kids don't get along, they don't always listen to us, and sometimes you just need to get off your feet and relax for 5 mins, even if someone will be annoyed at the number of toys on the floor...again! ;)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you need a Mommy's day out. I know how you feel! I told my kids earlier this summer we were either going to have a lot of fun days, or we were going to have cleaning days. And we've had a little bit of both. There are days we got swimming, play games, etc. But there are days that I'm chilling on the couch watching them dust and vacuum because they couldn't stop fighting. I figure if they can't put all that energy to a positive use, I will help them!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the breast feeding goes, I can only sympathize with you. I wanted to breastfeed but I never could. I remember crying with my first child because I spilled the milk I had just pumped. I was so excited that I had finallly pumped a whole ounce, and to spill it...broke my heart. After two months of feeding, pumping and supplementing without success, my husband encouraged me to stop.
I only have one child. She's 8 now, and I cannot wait for her to return to school next week. 3 more days. I'm sure i'll miss having her home, but she needs to be with other active kids her age. I'm so ready. So I can see how frustrating you must be with little ones. Hope you get the rest and the much needed freedom soon. Best!!!
ReplyDeleteI think every parent goes through this. I feel like I am going to go crazy if I have to pick up the same toy or break up the same fight one more time. I am thankful that we can finally afford to put my son in 2 day preschool so that he can get some time out of the house, little sister and I can get some time alone, and he can finally get some playtime with new friends. We don't have the money to go out and have playdates or go out hardly at all so my kids have been driving me crazy a lot lately!! Mommy needs a break! So trust me when I say you are not alone!!
ReplyDeleteI am dreading when the boys get old enough to fight with each other. I hope things get better when school starts! Hang in there, mama. You know our little group will always cheer on Team Boobs!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Give yourself a break...don't be o hard on yourself. I think a lot of moms start feeling this way, especially towards the end of summer. In another week or so they will be back in school and things will settle down a bit. Hang in there...things WILL get better!
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of nice to know I am not the only frustrated person! I am more frustrated with my household. I have a brother living with me and he does not pay rent or help with bills. all he does is sit in his room all day. I want him out so bad. Of course my husband always takes HIS side!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you need a mini vacation. :( *HUGS MOMMA* It does get better.
ReplyDelete