Mending a Broken Heart - UPDATE

I want to start by saying thank you to everyone for your encouragement and positive support!  It is really touching that woman that don't know me can be so supportive and understanding.  It really did help to get me through the last few weeks.  

So after our last Dr's appointment the determination was that I would try to give Colton a bottle of formula every other feeding and pump and then offer formula every time I nurse.  This was really hard for me to take.  When DH and I decided that I would stay home with DS3 I knew that I wanted to nurse exclusively.  Colton was NEVER supposed to have any formula.  Nothing against formula or mom's that give it to their babies, my oldest two were on formula at 8 weeks, I just wanted to give my son the best that I could and I felt like breastmilk was that thing.  

For the first day I supplemented with expressed milk that I had in the freezer and I still nursed everytime he ate. I just couldn't bring myself to think that I wasn't enough for my baby.  I still pumped after almost every feeding and gave him the expressed milk to help with what ever he wasn't getting from nursing.  By Saturday night I knew I had to start giving him some formula.  I made my first 2oz bottle of formula and cried.  I continued to cry as I watched my 5 year old give his first bottle to his little brother.  

By Monday morning I was exhausted.  Between nursing and pumping and all the other struggles I was just wiped out. When DH got up to take care of the kids for me I asked him to just make Colton a bottle of formula.  After almost 10 minutes of struggling to get him to take the bottle he finally brought him to me and we nursed for about 30 minutes.  It wasn't like him to not take a bottle he's had them before when I've run out to do errands and never had a problem.  

Later that same morning I went to pick up my oldest from school and left Colton home with DH.  Shortly after I left DH offered him a bottle of formula again and again he screamed and kicked and wouldn't take it.  He warmed up a bottle of breastmilk and Colton took it instantly!  So now the thing that is supposed to be helping is just causing me more stress!

I called my LC because I needed some comfort and encouragement.  She assured me that it was normal for Breast Fed babies to reject formula and to just keep trying and since he was taking it after nursing to just continue to do it that way.  So we did and by Monday Colton was getting about 8oz of formula a day.  

We went back to the Dr on Tuesday and we are gaining again. I also feel like my milk is coming in ALL over again.  I'm not sure if it is the Fenugreek and Oatmeal or the pumping or both but I feel like a totally different person!  

We go back one more time in two weeks and as long as we are still gaining we can look into cutting back more on the formula and just going back to nursing!